


i never held it (but it holds me)

by fire_ash_rebirth



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Early in Canon, F/F, Fluff, no beta we chase after coins like camelots guards, please just let them have nice things, the nice things are eachother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:15:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28721991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fire_ash_rebirth/pseuds/fire_ash_rebirth
Summary: If Morgana was asked, “Why do you love Guinevere?” the sentence might not be completed before she started answering.If Gwen was asked, “Why do you love Morgana?” she might blink for a moment, caught off guard that anyone would even have to ask.
Relationships: Gwen/Morgana (Merlin)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	i never held it (but it holds me)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Arnaut Daniel's poem by the same name.

If Morgana was asked, “Why do you love Guinevere?” the sentence might not be completed before she started answering. Her words might come pouring out as clear and strong as the strongest river’s current.

“Because she is silk, soft and beautiful beyond comparison and just as strong. She is as warm and comforting as a hearth fire and as powerful as a blacksmith’s forge.” Morgana’s expression, usually closed off, might start to soften as she speaks, careful calculation being usurped by warm fondness. “She bares her heart to the world and refuses to grow cold and callous despite the battering life deals her.”

“I love her because she wears her heart on her sleeve and even though this leaves her vulnerable she refuses to be ashamed, refuses to stop caring and this is the furthest thing from a weakness.” Morgana might say this with a flash in her eyes and an authority in her voice that informs anyone listening that her word on this matter is final, not to be questioned. “I love her because she tries her hardest for peace in every situation but can hold her own with a sword. Her hands are powerful enough to move metal and gentle enough to create the most intricate braids anyone has ever seen.”

“Because when we are traveling to the market, she points out the butterflies and stops to pick the flowers that grow by the side of the road. She greets people by name and hands out flowers to the children she meets. When she speaks, it is impossible not to listen to her.”

Morgana's voice might grow quieter now, but loses none of it’s fervor. “She holds me when I am scared and does not think less of me for my fear. Never, in all the time I have known her, has she been ‘just a servant’ and anyone who considers her as such is blind.”   
“I love her because she means what she says and speaks the truth even when people refuse to hear it. Because in a castle full of schemers, plotters and deceivers, she is the one person I can trust to be genuine.”

* * *

If Gwen was asked, “Why do you love Morgana?” she might blink for a moment, caught off guard that anyone would even have to ask. She might be quiet a moment, organizing her thoughts, searching for words to describe the indescribable. 

“Because she is sharp elegance, a sharper wit, and an even sharper blade drawn without hesitation against the unjust. Because she does nothing in half measures.” While Gwen knew, perhaps better than most, that Morgana’s unwavering resolution could be as much a curse as it was a blessing, the strength of her conviction was undeniable. “She feels with her whole heart and isn’t afraid to speak her mind to anyone—not knights or nobles or even the king.”

If she has been asked while busy, Gwen might say all this without faltering in her movements, hands working as smoothly as her words now flowed. “She refused to leave me behind when I was captured and faced the king’s ire, spending the night in the dungeons on my behalf. I love her because she holds herself up when others try to tear her down yet never tries to rise by trampling on others.”

“Because she takes care of fawns with broken legs and leaves flowers where the hunting dogs are buried. She asks for extra pastries then claims she isn’t hungry so she has an excuse to give them to me. When visiting nobles vy for her affection with gifts of sparking words and jewels, she is not swayed by their ornamentation but sees them for who they truly are.”

“I love her because she knows there is a difference between what is law and what is right, because she takes action against injustices and works her hardest to prevent them from happening again.” 

“Even when she feels powerless and scared out of her mind, she puts on a brave face for the sake of others. Because she knows how to wield words and blades both, and when to wield them.” Gwen might say with a tilt to her head that shouted pride from the rooftops if it spoke at all.

“Because she will be a strong queen, a wise queen, a good queen, and Camelot will flourish.”


End file.
